Join Danny’s Meet n Greet!
Join Danny’s Meet n Greet!
Join Danny’s Meet n Greet!
Thankful Thursday week 2 and a poem…
Thank the Lord for Mama and my babe
For the sunrise each beautiful day
For our good health and our comfort zones
For the dream come true of work from home
Sweet Jesus and the angels above
For fun clients and work that I love
Sweet furballs that give our cheeks a lick
That backup truck when my car gets sick
The house in the country — can run free
America, though it’s not like it used to be
For a few freedoms in how we live
If we face our fears and take that risk
Abilities to accomplish dreams
I am thankful for all of these things
What are you thankful for? In rhyme, or not. 🙂
(Photo courtesy of heartlandchurchofchrist.com)
Welcome back to Hump Day Haiku! This is week 2. So surprised I’ve done it two weeks in a row. Ha! Won’t you play along?
Fall is in the air
From the cool breeze to tree leaves
To apple pie flair
Won’t you play along? The only rules to a haiku are
A haiku is a short form of Japanese poetry. A haiku uses just a few words to capture a moment and create a picture in the reader’s mind. It is like a tiny window into a scene much larger than itself.
Hope y’all are doing awesome!
(Photo courtesy of savethekales.wordpress.com)
I haven’t made a lot of time for blogging lately but I feel the need to at least do little snippets of blog posts so I thought Hump Day Haiku would be fun, quick and perhaps engaging with those of you who might want to play along.
And I guess Thursday will be for Thankfulness.
Trying to learn to be more mindful in each day, in each moment (something new I’m trying to teach myself) made me realize I want to be thankful in each moment, in each breath I take, with every beautiful thing I see and feel and experience. Like the sky this morning. It was an awesome sight! Hauntingly romantic foggy mornings as the trees and flowers are beginning to wake from their slumber. The way the sky is illuminated with shades of purple, pink and orange when the sun is slowly descending in the west. The musical tones of the laughter that spills out of my beautiful daughter and adorable mother. A sweet smile from a kind stranger as he passes by and the infectious giggles from those little kids over there talking about something just between them.
So much beauty and charm surrounds us on a daily basis but so many of us don’t see it. We don’t notice. We don’t pay attention. We’ve learned to tune so much out. Have you noticed? You might be so completely surprised how your mood might be changed just by engaging with someone, have a conversation, smile at someone, allow someone with less groceries than you to go in front of you, say hello. This not only benefits those around you as your positive energy resonates outward onto others, but this benefits you, as well. One good feeling deserves another. Keep that going and you are going to feel AMAZING at the end of your day.
Take time to be thankful to the one who created you and your life. I actually sort of think we planned it all out with The Big Man before we came down here. That’s another blog post but I think we chose our family, certain experiences we’d have — all in the spirit of strengthening our souls, we had things we wanted to learn, we wanted to build our character, we wanted to test ourselves, we wanted to grow our spirits. Might not make sense, I don’t know. It’s something I’ve felt since I was little.
Many bad things happen in our lives and we make mistakes, perhaps we have regrets. I’ve screwed up a TON! But, honestly, I only have one regret in my entire life. I didn’t make up with my daddy after we’d had a disagreement and I’m so bad at holding grudges. He’d moved on and was over it but I wasn’t. I wanted to punish him by staying mad.
And then he died.
My daddy died so suddenly and unexpected and I’m afraid I’ll never completely heal from this. Oh, I know he visits often and he’s forgiven me and that’s cool and everything. I know he loves me and I’m forgiven but it’s not the same, you know? I’ll never have that moment back to say I’m sorry to his face or at least make things happy again between us and not be angry with him before our last goodbye.
Another reason to be mindful.
So today, and every day, I am thankful. I am thankful most of all for those I love and hold closest to my heart. My answer to a life-long prayer = my daughter, who is also my best friend. My mom, who has always loved me, even when I wasn’t loveable, who never left me, and whom I’m so proud of. I’ve watched her grow soooo much over the years into the wonderful person she is today. Mama, I could not be more proud of the lady you’ve become. She’s also my best friend.
I’m thankful for so many things, and I don’t have all day long to list them all, and you don’t have all day to sit and read and I don’t want to cause you to fall asleep at your monitor so I’ll leave you with this — be thankful. Not just for everything you have in your life, but especially for those people in your life that mean the most to you. Always be happy with them before you say goodbye or good night, because it might be your last chance to ever see or speak to them again. Speak to them with love. Treat them with love. Be sure in your soul they know you love them and they bring you happiness. You’ll be so blessed by this and so will they.
What/who are you thankful for?
Another thing… I love you guys! *smooches*
(Photo courtesy of projectwarmsb.org)
I may or may not have a haiku to offer each Wednesday, but today is the start of it. I hope to make time to continue. Won’t you play along?
The afternoon sun
Slumbers beneath charcoal sheets
Of bellowing clouds
I hope y’all are doing great! Sorry I’ve been a bit absent lately. Work, work, work and trying to finish my novel and running Hallie here, there and everywhere has taken the majority of my time. Drop me a line and let me know what’s going on with you. I do plan to eventually get back in the regular routine of blogging and reading yours once my book is finished, which should be SOON! Love y’all! *smooch* 😀
Check out @WiseTribe’s Tweet: https://twitter.com/WiseTribe/status/632360175735697408?s=09
Are you a mindful person? I would love to say I am but I’m rather an aspiring mindful person. I try to be mindful at certain times, in a certain moment, on a certain day, but that’s not really being mindful, is it? No. I stress and depress and project it onto others around me, especially those I love the most. I direct it onto my closest friends, my mom, my daughter, God, heck…even my dogs. God forbid I’m working and one of the dogs has to go out, or I’m in the midst of focusing on a project and I get a text, so I even project my stress onto my somewhat smartphone.
You’d think I’d be happier. I mean, I’ve got it made. I work from home, which is just a life choice I made a while back, because I wanted to be present for my daughter. I wanted to raise her properly and be here for her. Not to say that parents who work outside the home are not raising their kids properly. Not at all. I used to do the 8 to 5, the commute, working late, working on a Saturday. I did the whole thing. It’s just a choice I made that was right for me and my daughter. I have awesome contracts with clients I love, finally. I’ve worked for some true devils. I mean, before doing the WAHM (work at home mom) thing, I worked for attorneys and there were some devils in that mix, let me tell you! I can’t believe I did it for as long as I did, but the money was awesome and the perks weren’t too bad, either. Yeah, I’ve worked for some monsters but the worst one I ever had was one of my clients, whom I kicked to the curb last year. No, I love my clients now, so I should be happy.
So I work from home, I get to hang out with the kiddo, take her to everything (or rather, let her take me, since she’s got her permit), hang with the dogs, take Mama to any appointments she needs me to (she lives just next door), not work for attorneys/crazy people/head cases/monsters (although there are 2 attys that I actually adore and call them friends but they are a very rare exception), no commute, no extra expenditure on gas, no dealing with people in the office I don’t particularly care for, I get to fit my work schedule around family time and appointments and walking the dogs, washing clothes, whatever. I get to fit in a little bit of time to work on the novel I started a year or so ago. I can jump on the treadmill whenever I want. I’m healthy. My family is healthy. So, one thing goes not according to plan or wrecks my schedule and I have a meltdown. What’s the deal? Am I going through mentalpause? Or are my hormones all wonky? Oh, maybe it’s the lack of sugar in my diet since I’m into weight loss right now. Or the fact that I’m hungry from putting less food in my belly. God help everybody when I take coffee off my menu. Trying to get healthier. Yeah, I’m gonna healthy all over the ones I love. Poor things.
I keep telling myself to live in the moment. Be present. Be mindful. Mindful of my words, my thoughts, my actions. Be kinder to not just those I love, but to everyone I come in contact with. Be kinder to myself. Be gentler. Stay calm, slower to anger. Be patient with myself and…well…just everybody. I haven’t much patience when it comes to someone doing 40mph on the interstate and I can’t get around them, ’cause grammaw over here in the left lane is going 40 also and refuses to pass. No, actually, I imagine myself shooting out one of their tires, not so they’ll have a wreck, mind you, but slowly pull off to the side and get the heck outta my way. Mean. I know. This is what I’m saying. I’m so angry.
This is not being mindful. Oh, I’m sure of my emotions. I know what I’m feeling. But my feelings are out of control. Depressed and crying because my baby just entered 10th grade and I’m simply not prepared for her to be this age, yet — this big — this grown. *sniff* I realize I have 3 more years with her, but do I? She’s getting more involved in clubs and activities, with friends, stuff in school, stuff outside school, pretty soon she’ll have her driver’s license and probably a part time job. I’ll never see her. My baby will be out the door even before college. Am I afraid of being alone? I don’t think that’s it. I’ve always cherished my alone time. I’m not the lonely type. If anything, I look at it as an opportunity to write or to read. Boring, you say? Nah. I love it. Sometimes I think I need to find a man so I won’t be alone when she goes off to college and then I realize how stupid that thought was. Divorce was good for me. Maybe I just need to learn how to chill.
I need to learn how to be mindful. I need to cease, slow down, stop, HALT! And be still. I need to pray more, meditate. I haven’t meditated in I can’t tell you how long. I used to do it every morning. Hallie even did it with me! We looked forward to doing this together every morning. So, why did we stop? I think I let my work hours consume me. Now that I actually have clients I love and work that inspires and benefits me (and the world), I need to reevaluate my life, my time, ME.
I need to ask myself what it is I want and get to it. I need to get back to the plan. I need to fit in my fun quality family time, work hours, writing hours, exercise, walking and smooching dogs, cleaning the house, mowing the lawn and everything else I have to do and be glad about it. Be glad I have the opportunity. Be mindful of every minute and make sure I’m not wasting it. I admit, I waste a lot. I think too much. That’s my strongest weakness. I can’t get out of my own head. I need to prioritize and eat the frog. Meaning, get the work hours done M-F as soon as I can get done and get it out of the way, so I have the free time I need to do everything else. I procrastinate a bit. I get distracted by my thoughts, an idea of a storyline I’m working on, so I quit work to type it into my book. I’m so disorganized. Even this post is all over the place. I ramble. My thoughts are scrambled and rambling. I’m a rambling gal.
So, I’ll shut up and just make my greatest effort at being mindful. I’ll live in the moment. I’ll be gentler with myself and others. I’ll stay calm and if I don’t have a nice thought or word, I’ll keep my lips zipped! I’ll let it pass. No one needs my stress. I don’t even need my stress. I’ll try to chill and be thankful for each moment I’m given, thankful for all my many blessings, and I do know I’m blessed. I’ll just start acting like I know I’m blessed.
How to be mindful…
Any other tips on how one can be mindful? HALP?! Please insert in comments below. ’cause we all need to know.
Photo courtesy of arttherapyspot.com
Not sure exactly how I did it but I did it. While working my 36-46 hours a week, chasing after a busy teenager, managing to clean our filthy house (with a lot of help from Hallie!), and mowing a few acres each week, I somehow got in the writing time I needed to work on my novel, and run a contest for a couple of weeks!
My goal was set pretty low for this camp, because I knew I wouldn’t be able to put time in each and every day. My original goal was 10,000 words. My final count was…wait for it…
Once I reached a bit over 9,000, I stopped counting. Then, on July 31st, I checked it and yup, I exceeded my goal. Yea! I’m sure much of it was rambling. You know how I do. I get caught up in it and ya can’t shut me up. You know I ramble. Kinda like I’m doin’ now. Anyway…
So, that’s what I’ve been up to. Working hard on my novel. Got the character name I was looking for! Thank you, my friends out there, for participating. That was really fun! Hopefully, I will finish this novel within the next couple of months. That’s the plan anyway. Was planning on finished by the end of August. We’ll see. I’m gonna try. Got a little bit to finish. Then revising, revising, revising.
Just sticking my head in to say hi, I hope you are well. I know I haven’t been on the ole blog much but, well, by what you can see above, I’m pretty busy these days. Perhaps I’ll get back to posting more on a daily basis when I’m finished with the ole book.
Squishes and smooches! Love yooze guys! xoxo
So how ya been? What have ya been up to? Tell me everything! *cup in hand and eagerly listening*
“What cannot be said above all must not be silenced but written.”
― Jacques Derrida
What do you think of this statement? I know many things that cannot be spoken. Maybe certain things about my childhood. Maybe traumatic moments that bring back nightmares. Some of these things would be hurtful to people – people I’ve forgiven. Sometimes, I think what a great story these truths would make. I’ve written many of them down and when I go back and read them, I laugh out loud and snort and get so tickled I can’t stop myself. At others, I bawl like I’ve never cried before, as though I’ve lost my one true love, or as though I cry for another child that’s so hurt and so far away that I can’t get to her. That’s how I see my childhood now. I’m so far away from it. For me, once I reached (or rather grabbed onto for dear life) forgiveness, I became somewhat removed from my childhood, like I wasn’t that little girl anymore, unloved, thrown away like last week’s forgotten left overs. It doesn’t hurt me like it used to.
I had forgiven one who hurt me. I had forgiven and befriended. I learned how to understand how this person was raised and understand that all people are not the same, that some are unable to give what another needs. Some people are weak and afraid and don’t even know themselves, who they are, nor who they want to be. It takes great courage to change and grow into a taller person, into yourself, seeking more, looking for better, wanting to heal, wanting to make amends.
It takes less courage to forgive the person who hurt you. At least, it didn’t take that much for me. It just took me 39 or 40 years to learn how. Once I got a handle on it, it was easy. So easy, that I didn’t even realize I had done it until after a conversation. I realized somewhere in the middle of a 20 minute civil conversation with a tragic heart thief that I had forgiven him and it wasn’t even my intention. Or was it? Whatever it was, it became so easy after that. I was forgiving all over the place.
Then, I forgave the one who hurt me the most in my life, who warped me and wrecked my mind, who stole any chance of ever trusting another human, perhaps as long as I shall live (we’ll see). Once I began to try to understand this person’s horrific childhood (100% worse than mine, not that that even matters – it’s not a contest), and how this person was never shown love or respect, adoration or celebration, kindness or sympathy, a shoulder to cry on nor an ear to listen, I realized I could not withhold forgiveness. Everyone suffers. There are different levels of suffering. There are different layers in people and on these many varied layers, there may not be even an ounce of love to take or give, they may lack understanding, lack forgiveness themselves, or even utter ever a kind word to another, but they still need (maybe even deserve) our forgiveness.
I’m not going to turn this into a religious thing, as I’m not a religious person, although I’m tight with the Dudes Upstairs. Yeah, God and Jesus – they’re my family. But I have to speak on these Guys. I think of what God did for us by sending Jesus and why he sent him. I think of Jesus and why he came and what he did for each of us. He did it of his own free will. He could have caved. He could have been weak and given up on us. I can’t tell you that I would have done what he did for all of us. Sometimes, I think we are all worthless, we don’t deserve what Jesus did for us. When I think of all the rapists, child killers, demons that walk this earth that should be blown to bits (and I’d like to blow away several of these myself), I think we don’t deserve Jesus, we don’t deserve forgiveness or love or any of it.
But then I look into the eyes of my child. These eyes are windows to the soul of the one I most prayed for since I was 2 years old. This child was the answer to a lifelong prayer, with every quality I prayed for and more great qualities I never thought to pray for. When I see what a gift I was given, I saw, personally, and in my face, how much God and Jesus truly love me (and love and adore each of us). Later, I began to see how much each of us deserves to have a love like that in each of our lives. We all do deserve love. We all deserve forgiveness. It is not something we have ever or will ever earn (or can we?) but we deserve it, because to live without love and without forgiveness is not a life I would consider worth living. I used to feel hate/unlove for myself and didn’t want to live. Thank you, Father, for helping me to see things differently before I did something stupid and selfish.
If you don’t feel love for yourself or cannot forgive yourself, please know you are worth loving and you are worth forgiving. You truly are. You are special and unique and this world needs you and your gifts and talents, even if you don’t think you have anything to offer. You do. Every person out there that has hurt you also deserves to feel love and to be forgiven, and you don’t even have to tell them if you don’t want to. Let me tell you, once you forgive someone, it feels so amazing, it frees you, frees your soul. You then learn how to forgive yourself for your own stupidity and weakness and you begin to pull yourself out of the darkness. It’s an awesome feeling and I want that for you.
Have you forgiven yourself lately? Have you learned to love yourself? What about forgiven others? Do you realize everyone deserves to feel love?
Back to the original statement above, do you think the words we cannot even begin to say should be written? I’ve written much of my unspoken stuff down but I will probably burn it, because I don’t want to hurt anyone with the past. We are not our past. We build from the past. We learn from the past. We move on from the past. But we are not our past and we do not deserve to relive it nor cause others to relive it. Do you agree? I know the original statement means more than just this. It means many different things to different people, but this is what came to the front of my mind when I read it.
What are your thoughts?